Prompts from Sometimes Sweet. Share a link to your own journal day post on Sometimes Sweet or in the comments below.
If you had a free pass to go back and change anything in your past, with the promise that it would only affect you positively, would you do it? And if so, what would you change?
I am warning you right now, this post is about to be cheesier than your grandmother’s macaroni.
In all fairness I must immediately admit that there have been times when a great deal of my thought energy has been spent rehashing events, wishing I could go back. In fact, about 2 years ago I very nearly had a breakdown worrying myself sick about whether my life decisions were “right” or not.
Thankfully I was saved by books. And Oprah. And teaching beautiful children.
There are at least 1.2 million events I would go back and change in my life, but it wasn’t until I accepted that it wasn’t going to happen that I found some peace.
So here’s how it happened. After a particularly self-hating day in which I’d scolded myself relentlessly for not being a famous author, an ass-kicking politician, a visionary chef, or a world traveler, I took a damn nap. And it felt like the longest, deepest sleep ever. It was more than sleep, it was like a spiritual time machine in which I slept for 26 years, relived my whole life, and having rubbed my eyes and re-oriented, realized I was in the exact same place I started from. It was as if I’d been given the chance to re-do it all, and chose the exact same path. Huh. It occurred to me then that, maybe, just maybe, I’m doing all right.